13) THE WEB PLANET

The most bizarrely put together serial in the entire history of Doctor Who, and no, that’s not a good thing here. There’s an original story here but FROM the first second it becomes plainly obvious that money was a no-no word throughout the production process. The whole thing looks and sounds ridiculous, with silly looking aliens who move and speak in the most annoying ways, (you’re off the hook for now Alpha Centauri), which makes one wants to cover up one’s ears in sheer annoyance. The story is filled with repetitious moments and has a serious lack of direction and enthusiasm from everyone involved. Ian Chesterton doesn’t seem that keen on returning to Vortis, and for good reason, ‘Oh, I doubt it, Vrestin. But, knowing the Doctor, you can never be sure’.
The sets and hazy lenses are an eyesore, which could have helped transport viewers to a far off alien world, but fail to do so. The Web Planet is over ambitious for its own good where it remains blissfully unaware of its own ridiculousness and where everything becomes ensnared in the farcical narrative. The aliens are just awful, but the Zarbi are marvellous creations, but the Zarbi continually ‘bleep, bleep, bleep’ all day long, which just becomes bothersome rather than a creative alien language, the Menoptra’s vocal cords only stretch to one octave, the Optera are severely restricted in movement, and the Animus is a typical sci-fi mind controlling parasite.  There’s an interesting idea buried underneath the ill-directed production, it’s just a matter of sweeping away the endless cobwebs of misconceived production values, to find that supposed shining light.*